Welcome to Guest House Paradiso

Nestled on the picturesque clifftops of the English coast, Guest House Paradiso offers a truly unique holiday experience. Run by the incomparable Richie Rich and Eddie Hitler, our establishment guarantees a stay you'll never forget (no matter how hard you try).

SPECIAL OFFER!

Book now and receive a complimentary bottle of our house wine, "Chateau de Chunder". Plus, get a free upgrade to our "Sea View" room (now with 20% less raw sewage smell)!

Why Choose Guest House Paradiso?

Unparalleled views of the nearby nuclear power plant
Exciting Russian Roulette breakfast menu
Free nightly entertainment (watching Richie and Eddie's hilarious fights)
Unique "hands-on" pest control experience in every room
Exclusive access to our private beach (hazmat suit recommended, not provided)

At Guest House Paradiso, we believe in providing an authentic British seaside experience. From our questionable plumbing to our even more questionable staff, every moment of your stay will be utterly unforgettable.

Guest Quote

"I've never experienced anything quite like Guest House Paradiso. The moment I arrived, I wanted to leave. Five stars!" - A. Survivor, London